5 Skills To Assist You When Starting Over


Remembering How To Be Your Own Hero.


As adults, we often feel the most impact when having to begin a portion of our life over again. We become accustomed and comfortable in our daily schedules. We do not go to work believing our place of business is going to close its door one morning. Or perhaps on a more personal note, divorce or separating might be a part of your family talks.

When presented with “life-changing” moments, our minds go into a protection mode. According to mindtool.com, “change can be difficult because it can challenge how we think, how we work the quality of our relationships, and even our physical security or sense of identity. What we often forget is we already have the tools we need to start over.

Courage – As children, we think nothing of trying new things. Though we might be frightened of the unknown, our courage often wins out. That is how we learn and how we build trust within ourselves and others. When we are presented with starting over as an adult, often our anxiety and apprehension hold us back. By practicing courage, a little bit every day, our minds build the strength to keep going.


Resilience – Often resilience is defined as our ability to bounce back from the stresses of life. It is not about avoiding the stress but learning to thrive within the stress. By acknowledging the situation, our minds have a chance to work through each of the emotions of starting over, and resilience helps us believe in our ability to overcome and push forward to overcome any obstacles along the way.


Optimism – It can be difficult to find the ‘silver lining’ to a situation that appears or feels devastating. Yet, to begin again, we must appreciate what we can control. For example, if you were told that your job was ending at the end of the week due to cutbacks, your first response might be anger. Panic and anxiety usually follow close behind. But what if you could see the good in the situation. This gives you a chance to switch careers, or an opportunity to go back to school.

Start each day with “I will…” I will update my resume. I will apply for three jobs today. I will investigate schooling programs. By utilizing your optimistic emotions, tackling daily tasks can be less daunting and goals are more easily obtained.


Motivation – When we have a major change in our lives, it is human nature to use our ‘fight or flight’ emotions. It can feel devastating to have to begin again and often feels like “our bubble was popped.” This is the best time to stay motivated towards your daily goals. If you find it difficult to sort through your next steps, write it down. Use a calendar and put it up where it can be viewed each day. Write down your daily goals. At the end of the night, cross off the day. Not only does this give you the motivation to complete the task but allows you to feel accomplished.


Inner Strength – This especially important asset aids you when you feel uncertain. Inner strength helps you make hard decisions when your emotions are taxed. Inner strength helps you to make hard decisions when your emotions are taxed. Inner strength helps propel you forward when starting over and gives you peace of mind that you can get through it. By being comfortable with yourself, both emotionally and mentally, uncertain moments can be dealt with rationally and more easily. By being comfortable with yourself, both emotionally and mentally, uncertain moments can be dealt with rationally and more easily.

As the Dalai Lama quoted, “It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty.”


Things To Remember

When we capitalize on our core strengths, we provide a calming aura that is often needed in times of crisis. Others recognize that you are reliable and levelheaded. While it feels good to have others compliment your skills, it is necessary to compliment yourself, daily.

Author Edmond Mbiaka summed up inner-self as, “A lot of things in life take time to manifest into reality. But as for self-love, there is no excuse to not have it in your life right at this very moment. It is free, and it’s only a matter of changing your thoughts and beliefs to always compliment your inner self.”



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